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Breakups suck.

No doubt about it.

You feel like a piece of you has been taken away, and your whole world seems to be crashing down. All you can do is think of them and how you can get them back…

Needless to say, that’s not something you want to be feeling, and it has the potential to seriously derail your inner peace and path to success.

It’s not uncommon to see people spiral into obsession, depression, and let themselves go while life passes them by after they split up with their lover.

…so what are you supposed to do after a breakup?

That’s what this article is all about.

And no, this isn’t some bullshit feel good article with tips that won’t get you anywhere. These are the TRIED AND TRUE methods that you can take to the bank, so read up and take notes.

Chances are if you’re reading this then someone just broke up with you, but the same rules apply if you were the initiator of the break-up.

1. No Contact

Rule #1 after any breakup is to go no-contact.

Do not hit them up on the phone, through text, social media, or real life. Block them if you have to in order to prevent yourself from talking to them or from seeing their messages tempt you on the screen.

You have to burn the muthafuckin ships.

Once you break up, there is no looking back.

Things will never be the same, and you will lose respect for yourself for taking them back after they’ve broken up with you.

This is the hardest step after talking every day and having their presence in your life.

You’re an addict hooked on their love.

Quitting cold turkey.

For a while it’ll feel empty and lonely like a bad dream but you just gotta suck it up and cut the cord.

That’s the only way you’ll ever heal up and move on.

So long as you leave an outlet open, your subconscious will cling to the idea of someday getting back together.

And as long as it’s there, so will be your perpetual inferno.

2. Purge

Once you’ve committed to no contact, the next thing you need to do is purge your life of this person.

Sounds extreme, but it’s the way to go.

Get rid of all of your photos of them on your phone, unfriend and unfollow on social media so you don’t see their updates or activity – especially if things got ugly and they’re prone to initiate jealousy ploys, clean your place of everything that’s theirs, and effectively remove all the ties you have to them.

These things will only remind you of them and prolong your sense of loss.

They are a form of Mental Input Material that will trick your mind into still thinking that they are a relevant person in your current life and trigger a cascade of emotions.

You have to erase these things and start fresh.

Your experiences will always remain, but instead as a part of you. Ingrained into who you are today.

3. Determine what went wrong

Next, you need to look at what went wrong that led to all this in the first place.

Maybe you got blindsided, but I bet you weren’t.

The signs of a breakup are looming in the distance long before they smack you in the face when your investment levels are topped off and the pain sets in.

• Did you miss the red flags early on in the relationship?
• Did you lose frame and get soft?

When you do this, you will learn the art of acceptance.

Coming to terms with what happened and why will give you closure.

This will also teach you what to avoid for the future to be even more successful.

But note:

DO NOT try and seek closure from the other person. Breakups are usually emotional in nature and the other person is not going to give you a real answer – even if they could.

Instead, take an honest look at yourself or consult with good friends who aren’t just going to coddle you and tell you what you want to hear.

4. Stay busy

Staying busy is key when you’re going through a breakup.

Your mind is gonna be hitting windsprints in the aftermath of a breakup wondering what they’re doing, who they’re with, and how to get them back.

Don’t let it.

You run the show.

Your attention is what gives things life (take a minute to really let that sink in), so remove your attention from the situation or that person and instead, CHANNEL that attention towards other things.

• Travel
• Check out events
• Hang out with friends
• Dedicate more time to your self development and hobbies (see tip #6)

5. Stay Present

Being busy for busy’s sake can become a cover-up that only masks the pain and doesn’t truly get rid of it.

You must be perfectly fine even with nothing to do.

To do this, you must learn how to stay rooted in and cherish the present moment.

See, time is an illusion.

And the only way that this person or situation can hurt you is if you let them into your mind.

But wait a second…

What are you doing right now?

Look around you.

What do you see?

Besides this screen, maybe some trees? A cup of coffee? The bustling environment at the cafe you’re lounging in?

THAT is where life is. In this moment.

Where is that person?!

Your mind will want to think of them and dive into your memories together, but recognize that this is just an illusion.

The only thing that’s real is here and now.

So recenter your attention to the present.

• The sights
• The sounds
• The tastes
• The textures
• The aromas

Live there a little more and in your head a little less.

The best way to do this is through the daily habit of meditation for 10-15 minutes and then applying what you learn to life as a whole through the art of day to day mindfulness.

6. Accelerate Your Growth

What happens when you’re busy and fully present in the things you do?

You make moves.

You make things happen.

And what happens when you add that bruised ego and pent up emotion into the mix?

You move mountains.

The period after a breakup is a great period to supercharge your personal development.

• Hit the gym a little harder
• Dress a little fresher
• Get yourself groomed up
• Read, read, read
• Advance your business
• Pour yourself into your passions
• Train your mind and forge your mindset

Turn your pain into a catalyst for growth. A break up will either break you or boost you.

Your choice.

For how to hit the iron and fuel your way into a work of art, check out my book, Architect of Aesthetics or contact me for customized online coaching today.

7. Get back in the game

If you’re tripping hard over a breakup, you caught yourself a case of oneitis.

That’s a perfectly normal thing to experience after a break up with someone you’ve spent a lot of time and energy with.

You think they’re the one.

The only one who could give you that warm fuzzy feeling and fulfillment.

But frankly, I do not care how special you think this person was or how special your connection was.

The ‘ONE’ is a fairy tale.

There ARE others out there who can compare.

In fact, there are EVEN BETTER out there for the taking.

Guaranteed.

After giving yourself a little time for the dust to settle and clear your mind, get back in the dating game.

You will soon see that you are not confined to be with that one person forever.

You will find that there are plenty of other people out there who are just as great as they were.

And once you experience this and come face to face with the abundance of options out there for you, you’ll be laughing at how you were ever tripping in the first place.

8. Keep Things In Perspective

Don’t place too much value on your relationship with another person.

A relationship is a complement to your life - it is NOT your life. Share on X

The biggest mistake people make when it comes to relationships is getting too invested and doing so too quickly.

They spend their whole day talking to or with that person, and their whole life starts to revolve around them.

It’s no wonder that the breakup hurts so bad.

You have to see the bigger picture and keeps things in perspective.

Realize that a relationship is only a small part of your life that can only ever make your life better.

A relationship is not Jenga. When you take that one piece out of your life, everything shouldn't come crashing down. Share on X

You have to prioritize your success and well being over all. Who you have date night with once or twice a week is not what you’re going to be remembered for. It’s not your legacy.

Your precious time and attention needs to be dedicated towards the bigger elements of your life.

When you really internalize this, you’ll feel a big weight lifted off of your shoulders.

And you’ll also learn that a relationship should develop slowly and only after they have proven their worth as someone that you should be that invested in, because a) you are high value & b) you’ve had enough time to see how they really are and whether they’re really down for you.

9. Time Heals All

Lastly, don’t forget that time heals all.

Even the most bitter, painful breakups seem like minor bumps and scrapes when you look back years later.

The emotions fade away and get replaced with newer ones.

Just let time run its course…

And if you’ve followed everything I’ve said in this article, then those newer ones will be with someone even better.

Both in terms of the other person AND you.

Conclusion

It sucks, I know.

But follow these steps and you’ll be back and better than ever before.

Comment your experiences below and let me know what works for you after a breakup.

And don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE for more.

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